Women Like Assholes

I met this girl a couple of weeks ago. Not good looking, not ugly. Let's say average looking. But with a nice personality, a twisted sense of humor and a lot of interesting things to say. I was kind of attracted to her. I asked her out and she rejected me saying that I was too sweet and too nice. Now come on! What kind of shitty answer is that? It brings everything back to what I thought: women prefer assholes. It's just a fucking fact. Ok girls, cut the crap and be honest. How many times in your life did you say to a guy something like ''I don't want to go out with you 'cause I don't want to loose your friendship'' when in reality you were thinking ''who would want to sleep with you fat fuck ugly bastard and risk to give birth to your hideous child.''? Say, how many times? But when a jerk off, asshole douchebag ask you out in the most untasteful manners you wet your underpants and fall in love! The guy will be mean to you, will be drunk half of the time and totally baked the other half, will fuck you for his own pleasure and fall asleep right away, will fuck other girls while pretending to be with his buddies, will even beat the shit out of you, get you pregnant and leave you 2 weeks before you give birth saying that he needs his freedom and that by the way he never took the DNA test so nothing proves that he is the father so he won't give you any money. You'll cry your heart out, you'll miss him like crazy.

In a couple of weeks, he'll show up at your door at 4 in the morning, scratching his balls, burping his last 17 beers and 15 shots of tequila and say that he missed you when in fact he only needs a place to sleep because the other girl he fucked filed a police report when he beat her again and he's now under a restraining order. You'll be so happy to have him back because you love him so much and he promised to change. You know he won't but for now it doesn't matter, you want to believe that you can rescue him, that you can save him from his sins. But when he'll dump you again, 'cause he will, who you're gonna call? Not the fucking ghostbusters! You're gonna call that sweet guy and cry on his shoulder, blow your nose in his t-shirt instead of blowing his dick. And he'll listen to your pathetic story, he'll comfort you, hoping that in the end you'll realize that he is THE one for you. But you won't because you're just too dumb! At night you'll go out in a club, you'll meet a guy that will ask you out in the most untasteful manners, you'll wet you underpants and fall in love... Do you see a pattern here? Fucking dumb bitch! So I decided to become an asshole myself. It seems that it's the only way to get laid. I'll have the hottest bitches in my bed. But I'll be nice though, in the morning I'll give them $20 for a cab.